Tag Archives: moving on

The “First Year” Mark

I have heard about the infamous “First Year”. News flash to those who have not been there . It is nothing magical, the one year mark that is.
Honestly, the first year is “The Fog” phase. You walk through life on auto-pilot. Living life as best you can. You do what needs to be done. You don’t look for them, but moments creep up on you when you forget how to breathe.
The one year mark is significant. It marks the time when the rest of the world thinks your life should be all hunky dory. They expect you to “get over it”. This is the point when you are supposed to “suck it up” and “get on with life.” They are the ignorant ones.
You spend the first year taking care of “details”. Removing someones name from your insurance policy. Changing bank accounts. Filling out new paperwork for old accounts. Making sure you contact ALL the people you need to contact to make sure you have removed that person’s name from everything.
It is like erasing the person’s existence.
After a year of “removing” the person .. a year of finding your footing .. a year of telling the story over and over and over of what happened .. a year of trying to move on from what idiots say and do .. a year of trying to get used to sleeping ALONE .. a year of not touching the face of that person …
The one year mark .. when auto-pilot is disengaged .. when you have to sink or swim. The fog is gone. Now you see with clearer eyes the void beside you.
Think before you speak foolish ignorant words you can not take back. They can cut very deeply. Some cuts may never heal.

The Start Of Something New

I just ordered the P90X3 night before last. I was flipping the channels and saw the infomercial. I have some friends who have used previous work outs from BeachBody. They all praised the programs.
It has been a rough year for me. Lots of death in my life. May 18, 2014 started it with the death of a dear friend who was like a brother to me. Lost a grandmother to illness, 5 friends to cancer, and my wife of 21.5 years to what may have been from a tick bite.
I have let myself go in many ways this past year. I still have my (now 11) son to take care of. I have to get my act together for him, and for myself. I used to be so active in my younger years. I rode my bike last week a couple miles and thought I was going to die. I am sooo out of shape.
What are my fitness goals? Good question. I know I need to get back on track of taking care of myself. A recent medical check out with blood work ups revealed that I am in acceptable ranges. Looking in the mirror, I am not in MY acceptable range.
Soooo, Here goes the start of something new.

..end transmission..